A reluctant guest post from my cat

Is it safe to come out now?

Yo.  It’s me, Chase the Cat, and I am not amused.  Not even one little bit.

For starters, both of my kids are away at camp, which means my snuggle quota will not be met.  And then to make matters worse, I can’t even get into my boy’s room to hang out in the sun.  Check this out:

Ok, it’s not like his room is ever that neat to begin with, but COME ON!  What is up with this?  This is a flippin’ disaster!  I just sat there and meowed at it for a while in the hopes that Mel would do something about it.  But no.  She and Spouse spent the day prepping their room and bathroom for some “magical makeover”.  Whatever.  All I know is that the house is all torn up and I don’t like it.  And what kind of whacked out couple spends the entire week that they have NO KIDS doing home improvement projects?  I mean really?  Totally lame.

Anyway, maybe I’ll come out and eat tomorrow.  I guess I’d better or Mel will ship me off to the vet so we don’t have a relapse of the whole brush-with-death thing.  But I’m tellin’ you, I am not a happy cat.

Chase out.

Fri Frags 7-24-09

*  No good bumper stickers, so a fortune cookie will have to do:  Stop stringing and tuning your instrument and start playing today! Pretty apt, considering I play the cello.

*  I’m supposed to be somewhere else right now and I’m not.  I’m also not bitter or pissed off about this in anyway whatsoever.  And no, it’s not BlogHer, believe it or not, although I didn’t even try to consider going to that because of the thing I was supposed to be at.   So now I’m doubly bitter.

*  I have no-hit all personal holidays in my family so far this year.  Meaning that I have forgotten them or sent something late or some such.  I suck.  Any ideas as to how to make this up to them would be greatly appreciated.

*  The DIY has started in full force, mostly because I’m not at the thing I’m supposed to be at (and not bitter about).  I’ll have some pics up when it’s all done.  But I can tell you right now that my laundry room is a shrine to all things elfa.  It looks right out of the CS catalog.  This pleases me.

*  Speaking of the cello, I got to pick up my music for the first concert series on Saturday.  This also pleases me.  We are playing “Gabriel’s Oboe” from The Mission.  If I can make it through a rehearsal of this without crying, I will be totally shocked.  But we’re also playing more effin Strauss, which does not please me as much.  Oh well.

*  Sat down with the Things the other night and watched “The Right Stuff” with them.  Well, all except ONE scene.  I did not feel the need to go “into the wild blue yonder” with pre-pubescent boys.  Those familiar with the movie will know what I am talking about.  And if you aren’t familiar with the movie then SHAME ON YOU!  This is a fabulous movie, and a good one to watch to commemorate….

*  The fortieth anniversary of the moon landing.  I have so many feelings about this and I want to do a post on it, but I can’t make it coherent.  Maybe all of the paint therapy will help channel my thoughts and I can do something about it.  In the meantime, go visit my friend Jen and read this that I wrote for her while she was in Florida.  And then be jealous of her because she is in Hawaii right now.

*  Anyone else watching the Torchwood mini-series?  What do you think?

*  I think I’ll have my cat post for me next week while I’m DIYing.  He writes funnier posts than I do anyway.  I can haz witty repartee plz?  kthxbye!

That’s all for me.  Check out Mrs.4444 for more Phragment Phun!

And this week’s winner is….

The lovely Lady Galadriel! She was correct in saying that is was a breast pump.  Judging from the number of correct responses, maybe I should have had a drawing from all correct ones so that Kori would have a chance at the cookies for once.  :)  I tried to take a picture of the box so you could see it, but it totally disintigrated on me. I mean this thing is OLD. BSCG got it from her sister who used it with her child, who is now 74 (I think, more on why I’m not so sure on that one later). So I’m guessing the paperboard wasn’t all that strong. Which is a pity, since it was pretty cool to have both the box and the pump.

This is fun! I have a few more things to have you guess on. Not all of them come from her house. Some of them are some really odd kitchen gadgets that even CityGirl would have trouble identifying.  I’ll have that contest in a few weeks because I don’t know the next time I’ll have some spare time to actually bake.  This is because next week is DIY!  Woot!

What am I?

Ok folks, more stuff from BSCG’s house.  I know what this is because I have the box it came in.  If you know, be the first to tell me and you get cookies!  Mrs.4444, yours will be in the mail on Monday.

Friday Fragments 7-17

*  Bumper sticker o’ the week:  Hey W, your Daddy should have pulled out earlier, too.

*  Went to Costco last week and saw a Smart for Two in the parking lot.  Think about that one and get back to me.

*  It turns out I’m not going to NOLA after all.  Don’t.Get.Me.Started.  But I’m not supposed to take it personally.  As if.

*  I have another contest in the works.  Stay tuned.  This time, I know what the item is, but let’s see if you can figure it out.   Check back Monday.  The usual prize, of course.

*  HP 6 was awesome.  Next up:  Percy Jackson.

*  Ask and ye shall receive:  I’ll do a series of posts on my bat-shit crazy grandmother.  It is amazing that my Dad turned out even half as normal as he did.  Don’t worry, I’ll include the ex-lax story.

*  Last, but certainly not least:  if my marriage was a child, it could drive today.  That’s right, folks, today is my anniversary.  I’ve actually passed the point where I’ve known Spouse longer than I’ve not known him.  Pretty cool.  I love you Spouse-bear!  Even more today than yesterday, but not as much as tomorrow.

That’s it for me today.  Sorry so short, but if you go to Mrs.4444′s place, there’s a lot more going on.

It’s been a long, hot, summer…

see more Lolcats and funny pictures

It’s hot here in Austin.  I mean, it’s usually hot in Austin during the summer, DUH!, but this summer has been particularly brutal.  And the kids are going crazy.  I try to send them outside before it gets too hot, but when it is 90 degrees at 10 am, that gets difficult.  Sigh….I guess this is how people who are snowed in feel.  But here it is so weird because you can look outside and see a beautiful blue sky.  Don’t fall for it though.  You’ll be roasting in no time.

So I saw that picture and it pretty much summed up the summer here at Casa Mel.  How’s your summer going?

We have a winner!

I knew the interwebs wouldn’t let me down.  :)

It is a silver water generator.

Mrs. 4444 withdrew that, thinking it was a water ionizer, but I’ll still give her credit.  It’s not a water ionizer because this has only one chamber, not two.  Anyway, I went with the silver water generator and did some research on it.  I couldn’t find a picture that matched what I had, but I read on how you would make a homemade one, and the descriptions are close enough for government work.  The other reason I think that this is plausible is because the person who had it was bat-shit crazy and would totally have done stuff like that.  This is the same woman who left instructions that, upon her death, we were to destroy the Santaria spells she had come up with to keep her husband faithful.  And also?  Was known for sacrificing chickens.  So yeah, I could see her believing that drinking water infused with silver would have some positive health benefits.  Go ahead, ask me about the ex-lax.  I dare you.  Anyway, she was totally bs-crazy and totally deserving of an entire blog post.  And her equally crazy sister.

But the important thing is that Mrs.4444 gets a batch of my cookies!  Leave a comment so I can get your address.

Riddle me this…It’s another contest!

Hey guys!  As promised, it’s another opportunity to supplement your waistline with my cookies!

I am currently undertaking what I like to call “Project Findthehouse”.  This entails getting rid of all extraneous crap.  And believe me, there is waaay too much of it around here.   Anyway, while cleaning out my kitchen, I came across this:

What is this thing?  My son helpfully suggested that I Google it.  But how, pray tell, are you supposed to Google this?  I mean do you type in “funny looking antique jar with ceramic square inside of it and a spout and two electrical posts on top”?  And no, typing that in won’t work.  So this is my challenge to you:  Tell me what this is and you’ll get cookies.  This is a totally open ended contest.  It ends when I get an answer.  I don’t expect to hear right away, so I’ll make a tab for this on the homepage.  Good luck!

Here are some more pics to help you out. That white on the inside is ceramic.

Colorful Metaphors here with….

Ok, so I like me some Facebook quizzes.  But today’s quiz was just too good to pass up!  Check it:

“WHAT INSANELY BADASS INFOMERCIAL PRODUCT ARE YOU?” with the result

YOU’RE A F***ING STICK OF MIGHTY PUTTY. You’re not a glue…YOU’RE A SUPER-POWERED EPOXY! YOU DO A DAMN GOOD JOB OF HOLDING SHIT TOGETHER! There is no telling what kind of shit you’re going to hold together next. Just get some F**NG MORTAL to kneed your body a few times, and BAYYYUM! You’re holding up shelves, repairing cups, and pulling THIS F***ING FULLY LOADED TRACTOR-TRAILER. You’re so badass your friend is going to trust you enough to put his hand under a F***ING CINDER BLOCK that is being held up by- you guessed it-YOU! You badass son of a bitch..

A guest post from my cat

Yo! ‘Sup dudes? Mel’s been pretty busy this week, so I’d thought I’d hop on so that you didn’t think she like died or something.  Any-hoo, I’ll give you the ol’ update on stuff happening around these parts.

Thing 1 is at Boy Scout camp this week.  I really miss him.  It’s so quiet with only Thing 2 around and I haven’t had my snuggle quota with him away.   I’m kind of doing this pouty-mope-around thing and hanging out around the door.  And to mess with me even more, Mel has totally torn up the playroom to do some sort of DIY thing involving, you guessed it, IKEA.  I’m tellin’ you, this woman has a problem.

In two weeks, Mel is going to be in NOLA for a Lutheran youth gathering.  Wow.  THAT sounds like fun.  Bands of mild Lutherans storming the streets of the French Quarter.  Can’t actually see that one, can you?  It’s gonna be like “Excuse me, can you part with some beads?”  Dulls-ville.  She’s looking forward to it though, so go figure.  People are crazy that way.

We survived the visit with her mom this week with very little in the way of bloodshed.  Which is unusual I must say.  Mel set her up with a project involving organizing the kitchen and elfa.  Kept everyone busy and busy is good.  Plus the fact that Mel’s mom seems to have gotten a “gay boyfriend”  and isn’t so fixated on her made for a pretty decent visit.  Let’s hope the “boyfriend” works out.

Well, I’m gonna motor now.  Have to make sure I get my 15 hours of sleep per day.  Maybe when I wake up Thing 1 will be home and I can get a decent snuggle.

Chase out.