Taking what is left.
What exactly does that mean, anyway? Ponder it. I’m not usually a morose person, but this actually got me down a bit. It all started when I was trying to find an available blog name. As predicted, most of the ones I might have wanted were long gone. Such is the state of the blogosphere. So I started goofing around and takingwhatisleft.blogspot.com was still open. I jumped on it.
And then I started thinking. I’ve been feeling that way a lot lately. Instead of just going out and doing and getting, I’ve been settling for the dregs. I do lots of things for lots of people, and when it comes to me, I take what is left. My husband works hard and is wonderful with our children and does many amazing things, but sometimes I feel that all I get is what is left. I want to start doing more to contribute to my family financially, but I try to make plans that will not take anything away from them at all, so I can only work with what is left. And I accept it, because I suppose it is better than nothing.
Or is it?
By taking what is left, I am selling myself short. I set myself up for resentment and disappointment. Instead of loving my husband and children, I wonder if they are holding me back instead of being my cheering section. This is not healthy.
Not to say that I should go out and be selfish and do whatever I want and damn the consequences. But maybe I need to reestablish my priorities. Maybe I need to recognize that I am important enough to not settle for what is left. Maybe, by taking the first cut every once in a while, I can actually do more for those around me.
So no more waiting around and taking what is left. I’m going to start pushing to the front of the line a bit. Starting now.