Humpday Hmmmm 12/5/07

Before I get started, I just wanted to say how much I love the Hump Day topics. Julie does such a wonderful job of getting us to think and it’s fun to see where other people went with the prompt. Thanks! If you are interested in more Hump Day submissions, or, even better, want to participate, click here.

This weeks’ topic is about making new friends and keeping the old. I’ve made a lot of new friends recently as a result of NaBlo and regular blogging. It’s kind of like a giant cocktail party. You poke around, introduce yourself, join in some conversations, sample the buffet. It’s awesome. But I’m leading a double life. I haven’t told any of my friends, except my spouse, about this blog. Seriously.

I don’t know why. They’re my friends; you’d think I could rely on them for support. And an instant audience. So why am I’m so hesitant to invite my old friends to the party?

I mean really. I haven’t talked about any of them, so I probably wouldn’t piss any of them off. I keep thinking that I’m going to go off on some sort of rant about Stepford, but it hasn’t happened (yet). The closest I’ve come was complaining about some people in my orchestra. So I’m starting to feel kind of bad about this. I almost slipped last night at my book club by saying “Hey, remember that book we read earlier this year? I’m talking about it on my blog today!” I should bring these people in to share, don’t ya think?

Maybe I’m just selfish. I’m also pretty bad about telling people about orchestra performances. Orchestra is one of the few things I do for just me, and bringing other people in feels like an intrusion sometimes. If I keep the blog private as well, then I’m preserving space that’s just mine. Yeah, that sounds pretty lame to me, too.

Am I embarrassed that I’m blogging? Ummm, don’t think so. I’m not talking about anything that I wouldn’t discuss with them. If it came up that is. Maybe that’s the difference. Online, I’m just the blog. In Stepford, I’m Thing 1 and Thing 2’s mom, or spouse of Spouse and conversations tend to get mired in that sort of thing. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, but perhaps the blog gives me a chance to spread my wings a little.

I should give my friends more credit. Real friends would appreciate being able to see another side of me. If they see what I write on the blog, then we could talk about other things besides Stepford-talk. And perhaps it would encourage them to spread their wings as well. We’re all kind of looking to define ourselves again apart from our kids, and online is a pretty good place to do it.

So, new friends, I think I’ll be bringing more friends to the party today. I’m leaving for a Bible Study in a few minutes, so I’ll start there. After that, I’ll send an email to my other pals to let them know. Make sure there’s plenty of dip!

Update at 2:30 pm CST: I’m such a chicken s**t. Had plenty of opportunity at WBS, but didn’t. Guess I will have to do the email.

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10 responses to “Humpday Hmmmm 12/5/07

  1. Ooh what an interesting take on the topic!

    I did not announce my blog to my friends. Slowly in this case or that case either (a) some happened upon me (not too hard since I use my name) and/or (b) it happened to come up in conversation.

    After a while, I stopped trying to not mention it but I also did not try TO mention it.

    You make me stop and think about why that is.

    I think my day-to-day friends and friends-lite are not very into online. A few just recently (and I mean last few months) just started using email.

    It’s my safe zone. I like to have retreats. Daily life can get to be too intense and I like to step back, step elsewhere for perspective.

    It’s my me space.

    It’s all that and a lot of the things you discuss.

    I’m all intrigued you decided to go public. Update us…let us know what the response is!

    Julie
    Using My Words

  2. Well, I think you need to start with the spouse. That’s the only person I mentioned it to for my first year. He actually finds it quite insightful because we are often overwhelmed with day-to-day crap that we sometimes miss having meaningful conversation. I’m usually blogging while he is asleep in one of the kid’s room (bad sleep habits, we know). I branched out to my mom and a few select friends the next year and finally this year I decided to go all out and tell everyone on my email list about the blog. And only a few have stayed on. You have to be of a certain persuasion to be a blog reader, either a blogger yourself, or reading several blogs. It doesn’t make sense to read just one. Anyway, you’ll find your happy medium in time.

  3. It has been odd to me. People who are really close friends have been resistant to reading, but then other IRL friends have been quite supportive. I am trying not to take it personally that my best friend does not read my blog.

  4. I told two of my real-life friends about my blog from the beginning. They read sporadically, as do some other friends I told later on. Another friend refused to read–too busy. My husband forgets to read it. He has only recently discovered the Internet, so I am giving him time. 🙂 My brother and sister read occasionally. Maybe I’m just not that fascinating! But I wonder why they are not curious. I am sure I would read their blogs daily, if they chose to write blogs.

    I told people in the beginning in part because I didn’t want to write anything that I would later regret anyone happening upon. Also because in the beginning I had no readers and needed some feedback.

    Good luck with your friends!

  5. Wayfarer Scientista

    Hi Melissa! Glad you found me. To new friends! You know, I have a similar dilemma you do. The only friends I’ve told about my blog are ones I went to undergrad with. I haven’t told my family (I think my mother would dissaprove b/c she doesn’t like the idea of blogs) even though I’m super close to them and there is nothing there I would want them to read. As for my other friends? I’m not entirely sure why I keep it from them. Or if I will always keep it that way.

  6. Interesting take on the topic. I am anonymous, so I don’t have to worry too much about old friends finding me. I tried to mostly keep this quiet, only telling friends whom I knew would really want to dialog with me. That mostly means friends who live far away and can’t talk to me regularly.

    My husband seems to think I should build up my readers, so he has managed to tell my in-laws, pastor, and other key people. Not sure how I feel about that.

    At least my family doesn’t know about it. I think I just want to keep a space where I can feel free to say what I need, especially about family. My in-laws are not easily offended, so no worries there.

  7. TwoSquare: My husband is the same way with building up readers. Can’t we just do something to enjoy it? Must be a y chromosome thing.

    I shared the blog with someone at my book club tonight. Her response? Oh God, not you too!

    Maybe *that’s* why I don’t share…

  8. What?!? Wasn’t that an appropriate response?? 🙂

    Seriously, thanks for letting me know about your blog. I think the thing about blogging is you either get it or you don’t. Since just writing this little tiny comment and putting it out there for public scrutiny is giving me the willies, I think it’s safe to say that I’m in the “don’t” category. But more power to you for putting yourself out there, and keeping it up!

    And, thanks for the link!

  9. None of my friends know about my blog… but my pastor does.

  10. My cello teacher knows about my blog, but so far Maestro and orchestra people don’t. None of my friends or family (except spouse) seem to be remotely interested in my blog — although many were surprised to learn that I have one.

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