So I was at Target today, and I came across this:
Let’s remember that I was in TARGET, not Sharper Image or something like that. Target.
For a HAIR DRYER.
What will a $200 hair dryer do?
According to the Sephora website (any emphasis is mine and my commentary is in red):
Bespoke Labs Featherweight Dryer
What makes Bespoke Labs T3 different?
The Secret Ingredient: Flawless(TM), T3’s tourmaline technology. Flawless (TM), is T3’s proprietary method of harnessing the unique ionic and infrared properties of the tourmaline gemstone (so wait, is this a hair dryer or a piece of jewelry?) is the secret behind Bespoke Labs T3 tools’ success among stylists and celebrities.
Experience a part of backstage action (Ok, what exactly is that supposed to mean anyway? Do groupies come with this thing? Or, eeeewwww!) with the Special Edition Bespoke Labs T3 Featherweight dryer. Combining cutting-edge design with innovative technology, the famously light Featherweight is tailored with an exclusive pattern that makes no two identical, while boasting a unique, bejeweled handle that simultaneously serves as a secure grip (because I want my hair dryer to be as more accessorized than me).
What it does:
Through Flawless, T3’s proprietary manufacturing process, genuine Tourmaline gemstones are injected into the dryer’s ceramic components, enabling maximum negative ionic and far infrared heat production (like a heat lamp for burgers?), which together eliminate frizz and drying time while creating sleek and shiny hair. The Featherweight is further distinguished by its new softAire(TM) flow management chassis, which shapes incoming air into a controlled “cone” of enriched air turbulence (Oxymoron alert! Controlled turbulence!) that directs a concentrated amount of negative ions and far infrared heat onto large sections of hair for incredibly fast, even drying, culminating in an unparalleled styling experience (Oh, I get it! It’s a religious experience).
- 1800-watt, yet weighs a mere 13 ounces.
- Two speed settings, plus cool shot.
- Ionized concentrator.
- Generates negative ions and far infrared heat.
- The only dryer with a true ceramic heater
- Patented technology.
- Comprehensive, extensive warranty.
- At least 60 percent faster drying.
- Powerful, yet extremely lightweight.
- Leaves hair soft, smooth, and shiny and doesn’t damage hair like other blow-dryers.
- Eliminates the frizzy, “blow-dried” look with negative ions add moisture and sheen and close the cuticle layer to protect hair.
So there’s your $200 hair dryer. For $200, I want a little guy to come out and do my hair for me. You know, like a little gay Oompa Loompa (wish I would take credit for that one, that was from Spouse) who can make me all pretty each morning. Especially since I burn through hair dryers at the rate of one every 18 months. I guess that warranty would come in handy for me.
Anyway, this just seems a bit excessive to me. An odd thing to spend your money on in my opinion. And since this is my blog, it’s all about me, right? 🙂