Ve haff our vays…..

So after dropping the Things off at VBS, I stopped off at my local crack den (also known as Home Depot) to make some returns of supplies I won’t be using during my DIY project. Anyway, since I have been there so much recently and have so many receipts floating around, I couldn’t lay my hands on one the the receipts I needed.

I get up to the counter, and “Natasha” is on duty (she is really great btw, I wish I could use her real name here and give her some props, but oh well…). “Natasha” is Russian with a fairly heavy accent, which made the following exchange amusing. At least to me anyway. Your mileage may vary.

Me: Good morning! I have some things to return, but I don’t have receipts for all of them. Is that going to be a problem.

Natasha: Iz no problem. We haff a wery generous return policy at ze Home Depot.

Me: Ok, great then.

Natasha: And bezidez, if we haff your debit card, I can get your data off of ze computer.

Me: Excuse me?

Natasha: Da. All of your information iz right heer in computer.

Me: Wow. That’s convenient. Scary, but convenient.

Natasha: Yes, our system keeps track of everythink you do here.

Me: I’m sure it does.

Natasha: Here iz your cash. Sank you for shoppink at ze Home Depot.

This wouldn’t have been nearly as amusing without the Russian accent. After learning what their point of sale system did, I kept expecting her to ask “paperz, pleeze” or if I had “zeen Moose und Squirrel.” I’ve always called it the Home Despot. Now I know why.

***Just to clarify, I’m not laughing at the accent. I’m laughing at the subject matter (big brother type information systems), with the Russian accent. I guess you had to be there…


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