If you were to call a family member and ask for money, do not do the following:
1. Have already set the potential donor off by your previous phone call. You know, the one where you called them on their anniversary and not only did not mention said anniversary (which wouldn’t have bothered them in the least because they expect that type of behavior from you by now) but also pointed out that the main point of your phone call was to remind them about someone else’s birthday.
2. Have already set off the potential donor by not showing up to house sit as promised and causing her to have to call and rely on Good Neighbor/Friend, but still taking the money left for you. And then mentioning that it wasn’t very much.
3. Do not mention how you’ve been helping someone else re-finish cabinets, but without all of the mistakes that you made.
4. Also do not mention how much better your batch of pad thai was than the one the potential donor made you.
5. Upon hearing that potential donor will be doing some painting in the upstairs playroom, do not express disappointment that the “awful colors” in there are only being retouched and not replaced.
Avoiding these critical mistakes will make it much more likely that the potential donor will consider your request, instead of saying, “I’ll have to talk to Spouse about it.” Which basically translates to “No freakin’ way.”
Oh, and when I tell you “no”, I don’t want to hear any whining about how we just got a new fridge and are taking a trip to Disney in a few weeks and if we have money for those then why can’t we help you? Because really? I already have two children, and having to be your mom instead of your daughter just. really. sucks.
I’m just sayin’….
Oh, and for those who know how I found out the hard way about one of my readers? I carefully checked my stats and I’m pretty sure the subject of this rant doesn’t read. But if she does I DON’T CARE. I am done with this situation.