Actual conversation

Location: Upscale furniture consignment store

Players: Me, Spouse, and the sales person, who, shall we say, appears to play for “the other team” (not that there’s anything wrong with that)

Me: Oooooh! Check out this headboard. It’s fantastic!

Spouse: That is a very nice piece.

Sales Person: This is a fabulous piece! Do you have any questions about it?

Me: What size is this?

SP: It’s a king.

Me: Oh, bummer. We’d need a queen.

SP: Oh, don’t worry, we have lots of queens here.

Me: *chokes on drink*

Spouse: *blink blink* I’m sure you do…


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